Unattended Celestial Splinter

By David Goss-Grubbs

Don't do something, just stand there
St. Peter nearly had a fit, he wanted to shout; to scream down:
Don't do something, just stand there

Another human being, trying to do a "good deed"
Messing things up even worse, of course
Don't they know you can never unseason the stew?

Don't do something, just stand there
So she could set a broken bone, so what?
It doesn't matter that you can use a splint
You could be the best splinter there is -
If you have to break the bone to begin with
Then it just doesn't matter

Don't do something just stand there
Another dead person, thinking they could
Make the celestial honor roll by saying
What they thought was a "kind word"
Haven't you heard

Don't do something, just stand there
The heavenly crowd is not what you think
My pen is running out of ink
The good deed doers are those who will sink
So just chill, man!

Don't do something, just stand there
It's enough to just not ball things up
You prideful folks don't seem to see
St. Peter will never live it down:
Leave the gates unattended once
And anybody thinks they can get in